Mafia Mythologist T-Shirts

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Gangsta wrap.

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Who, Big Sal? Sure, we were in cahoots years ago, but we fell out of cahoots."

'When did mum stop just sending us to our room?'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Make it look like natural selection."

'Hi. I'm Don.'

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

Her brother's on the building opposite with an M16.

'My meeting is running a little late, Marge. Can you reheat dinner when I get home?'

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

Musical Bad Guys: Scarface Scarlatti, Saxaphone Capone, Machine Gun Grapelli, Meanie Toscaninni, Killer Caruso....

'Help! Miami Beach Mafiosi attack!'

Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

'Drop him again, Louie.'

Mafia Marriage Guidance

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

"No more last requests."