Mad Food Scientist Gifts

Monsanto offices sandwich delivery

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

Jr. cloning kit

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Yound Einstein disproves an early theory: 'Aha! A watched pot DOES boil!'

Early cyborg.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

Are laboratory grown foods the future of farming?

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Bio-Engineered Fruit of the Month Club

Jenkins took special pride in his new invention, the rubberband-powered runabout.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

A dozen predictions for foods of the future.

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Victor Frankenstein's Dream: 'This should definitely get me extra credit in my anatomy class.'

Fooling around with those genes...just keeps going.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."