Machismo Analysts Gifts

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but medical science still has a lot to learn about machismo.'

Gas: Regular/Hi-Test/Testosterone

Macho Vegetarian

Soldiers' Ego

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

Alpha males through the ages!

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

"One last question, Berlinger. Is it just you, or is the whole damn Accounting Department shot full of steroids?"

'He eats his yogurt and carrot sticks out of a grease-stained brown bag to preserve his macho image.'

"Clothes, hell. It's the desk that makes the man."

'He was competitive to the very end.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

"Take no notice of George - it's just because he opened a jam jar earlier!"

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

Arm and leg wrestling.

'I want my money back -- I'm still a wuss.'

"Okay boys, time to maintain a delicate ecological balance between man and beast."

Rhinovirus (Common Cold) vs Rhinovirus-M (Man Cold)

'Will you sorry excuse for Vikings shut up and go to sleep?!'

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

Office worker leans back on chair. Woman says: 'Sorry, but that does not make you a risk-taker.'

'Bad hairy-chest day.'

The Men Thing. . .

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

"Mom said grandpa killed it so his penis would feel bigger."

'Oh yeah? Step outside and say that!'

"Reggie 'The Butcher' Baker just found out that everyone knows his wife calls him 'love dumpling'."

The real reason why men shoot animals.

'We're gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

"Now that's a splinter."

'I like my guys tough, you know, the kind who leave the crusts on their sandwiches.'

In the end I told him, stop bothering these women or I'll kick you out the door...(only cos he was a lot smaller than you...)

"Yes, it's a girls drink. But the fact that I'm an alcoholic makes it hardcore."

'No, I won't go out with you, Nigel, not 'til you man up!'