Machine Maintenance Enthusiast Pillows

A robot standing in a bathroom with a hand mirror in his hand inserting new batteries into the back of his head.

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

The Hammer

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

Crane fishing

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

When did you last have your oil changed?

...they can't take the factory out of the man - he's off to do some welding.

'Yes, Ralph, they are nuts, but...'

"On your mark! Get set!"

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

'It's an old work injury.'

'Obviously the natives here are sophisticated tool makers.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"You know the great thing about human beings? They're biodegradable."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.