Machine Learning Gifts

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

'You CAN Pass The Turing Test!'

"While I appreciate your offer to whack our bad data, I think a good scrub will be sufficient."

Now Hiring! Artificial Intelligence A Plus!

"What did you download at school today?"

Replaced by a millennial with artificial intelligence.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

'Don't insult my artificial intelligence.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

"The AI art generator became self-aware, and now it just procrastinates and questions itself."

"My programming does not permit me to process new information."

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"We're a little ahead of the curve here at Smith, Jones and KRX-421."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

A Sophisticated Computer

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

"This computer uses artificial intelligence to think like a human being...so it needs coffee in the morning to get it going!"

"Get lost! I don't want to wash your rags made by child labour!"

"The abominable algorithm"

"Sell AI"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Two robots are playing table football.

Robot doing a Binary Puzzle

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Welcome to the future"

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Artifishial Intelligence

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"