Machine Learning Maestro Gifts

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

Roberto Mancini

Someone being taught how to conduct an orchestra.

'I play heavy metal.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

A bulge of bodybuilders

"You may read the small print Mr Hill, but you obviously didn't read the microscopic print!"

'Come on, Raymond, we haven't reached our credit limit yet!'

Riccardo Muti

'Got a quarter?'

"This costs $35 with side effects or, if you prefer, $127 without side effects."

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

It's a model.

"It doesn't look too promising."

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

'Does Rover want a doggie treat?'