Machine Learning Maestro Pillows

'What does the internet have against my people?'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

"It kind of puts it all in perspective, doesn't it?"

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

Someone being taught how to conduct an orchestra.

'I play heavy metal.'

A bulge of bodybuilders

"You may read the small print Mr Hill, but you obviously didn't read the microscopic print!"

"This costs $35 with side effects or, if you prefer, $127 without side effects."

'Got a quarter?'

'Come on, Raymond, we haven't reached our credit limit yet!'

Riccardo Muti

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

It's a model.

'What's it look like I'm doing? I'm applying hair tonic to my bald tire.'

"I can't believe you! You say you can take a perfectly nice car, add tinted windows, fancy wheels, a spoilers...and turn it totally guy? Not that, you know, there's anything wrong with that."

'Does Rover want a doggie treat?'

"It doesn't look too promising."