Manner Maestro Pillows

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

"Your table manners are disgusting....Where did you learn to swallow your food without chewing?"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

Classic Emojis for sale.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Computer Music

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'It's worse than outsourcing. Instead of hiring foreign labor, they got bought out by foreign management.'

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

'Treat me easy this morning.'

Employees need to be treated like adults...

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

'I'm a billionaire, but I think like a millionaire.'

"Working from home. In pajamas. Angry at the world. Filled with anxiety. Nothing is different."

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"I was so happy after winning the Mood Swing World Champs, I did a victory lap of all the known emotions."

'Are you worried about layoffs?'

'But when you decided to go into psychology didn't you REALIZE that you'd be ‘surrounded by idiots'?'

Self-portraits

"I'm sorry, but so far medical science hasn't come up with a cure for adolescence."

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

'You always act like this when you don't get your way.'

A bulge of bodybuilders

"Cheer up. You're not as nutty as most of the whack-jobs I see."