Machine Busters Pillows

'How many of our spouses has this maniac taken?? We end the reign of terror today!!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Turkish Democracy

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Congratulations on your retirement!

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"Ah, bless. His first day at school."

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

A Fork-lift.

"Where do you come up with your rationalizations for not writing?"

Bagging the Chipmunk

'Another advantage is the humming and whirring, which is so much more plasant than chalk screeching on a blackboard.'

A planet like ours - Bandit machine in a reactor.

Digger.

On particularly buggy days, Carl wore his citronella candle cap.

A cheese grader

"Hey, listen! Next time you break down on a week-end, okay? I get twice the money plus weekend plus weekend surcharge and we divide fifty-fifty, deal?"

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

New Belief Systems

'Please tell me there's more to this than this.'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

'Hello-goodbye.'

Transactional Analysis - The Child.

"I think I see the problem! If I could just read this tiny print, I think it says...'Do not touch this. Could cause toner cartridge to explode'."

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'

"I find things go around in cycles."

Hygiene the best vaccine