Macabre Kitchen Master Gifts

'Dicing with Death'

Come dine with me!

Jack of all trades

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

Charles Addams.

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

Hot pot

Onion Tears

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"More?"

The legend of Chef Arthur.

"Fridge-to-table"

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

Edgar Allan Poe

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

Murderous Chef