Home Chef With A Spooky Twist Gifts

'I think you've overdone it with the eye of newt.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Party time.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Go on - they're organic!'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Happy thanksgiving!"

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

Thanksgiving 2020

Stay at home food pyramid

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"I was all the way to the corner....hen I smelled the chocolate chip cookies!"

'I think it's another modelling gig.'

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"So, our holiday was cancelled but at least our tastebuds can still go to Italy."

Recipes from Hillary's Kitchen

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'