Lyrical Philosopher Gifts

"Don't ask me. I don't know what 'my country 'tis of thee' means, either."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

At the 2021 Religious Games

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"As Tom gets nostalgic to Don McLean's 'American Pie,' baby Charles utters his first words... Too long."

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

The Meaning of Life

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

"His face may be in the gutter, but his bum's looking up at the stars."

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'100% Grammatically Correct Popular Tunes'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'I had multiple personalities.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"This lovely song tall of a young woman on a spring day...happily comes across a fluorimeter with a fluid transfer system..."

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

'I see you've been chasing parked cars again. Wanna talk about it?'