Lyric Master Gifts

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

Senta jumps into the sea

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"I see you've security marked your property."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

Bashful in Nashville

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Jerry Lordan

'My love is like a red red rose...'

Musical genres

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

Giuseppe Verdi

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Hey, Dad, I've been working on a song for our family band!"

"Wait, so his first whole sentence was 'I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drum all day'?!"

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."