Luxury Living Critic Gifts

"These are luxury apartments, so use the good water."

"If you want folks to see you're serious about carbon off-setting, plant it round the front - this is where our helipad is going!"

Sloaney Pony.

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'Okay, lifestyles of the rich and famouse, start that motor and get us into some shade.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

The Day Dreamer.

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

Champagne Charlie.

The Red Carpet

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'This condo is the height of luxury, The sprinkler system sprays Perrier,'

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

"Who says the recovery has been uneven? All my funds are up!"

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

A fat cat in a suit smoking a cigar.

'New money or old money?'

'Harold's grandfather was one of the inventors of the hula-hoop.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."