Luxury Food T-Shirts

"What's upscale today, Joey?"

"Buy the deluxe and I'll throw in the stick for free."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

La Table

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Haute Suture

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Bubbly

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Baroque Peacock

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

New Shoes.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

French wine

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

"I come here for the pepper."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"