Lung Health Pillows

"I finally stopped smoking. It's great to have clean lungs!"

America's Public (Health) Enemy #1

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'