Luggage Whisperer T-Shirts

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'Alex promised to love, honor, and fit snugly into the overhead baggage compartment.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Rising Gas Prices

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"What are you in for?"

Shrimpsea welcomes car-full drivers.

Daisy Diaper Service

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

'One ticket to wherever my luggage is going, please.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"All right. Time to grow up."

Right little madam.

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

"I understand you're famous for your tantrums."

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

Here lays Harvey Schmidlip, perhaps best known for his invention of the speed bump.

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

"It's worth a try! Maybe someone up there knows how to fold a fitted bedsheet!"

Walking the Dog.

"You were right, Mom. The new leash has really cured her pulling problem."

"Try verbalizing it."

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

Tantrum

"He'd have hidden in the wardrobe if you'd tidied it up like I asked you to do."