Lovers Of Science Humor Gifts

The G-nome Project (Mapping the genome).

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Schrodinger's Black Box

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"