Lover Of Unexpected Twists Pillows

'The biggest surprise, after we split up, is he got my friends and I got his.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

Island

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

Diet Sugar House.

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'What are you implying?'

False starts.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

'I'd say your financial future is looking bright.'

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

Magician conjures up a crocodile and is chased by it

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

The Latter Day Wisdom of Solomon

"The strawberry surprise may have been predictable but the real surprise comes with the bill."

'Before we get married, Doris, there is something I need to get off my chest.'

Safe is actually window to men's bathroom.

"Why, Susan, I—ha-ha-ha! Oh, God, sorry... Sorry."

"Velcro!"

"Ye, just like I thought. Mennonites."

'Woho! Chicken soup.'

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

'I'm glad out parents aren't hung up about not spoiling us.'

Fish steals a fisherman's worms.