Lover Of Tech Irony Pillows

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'

"He was much more effective in the field."

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'