Lover Of Second Chances Pillows

Factory Rejects Inc.

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'I'm screwed...'

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

Play Ball!

'Your divorce was so mature, balanced, rational...you want to throw that all away with a reconciliation?'

"Mr. October"

"Bob said his decisions were only 30% correct...so he's trying to increase his odds."

'Elements' sports team

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

Second marriage vows.

"Hello, we're Mathers, Thorpe and Beneke. Can your husband come out and play the market?"

Bob walked away from the halfway house – but only got halfway.

'My homework? Why, at home.'

Overshooting the Runway

'I bet the farm at roulette and won. What am I going to do now with 37 farms?'

'I was groped, rolled and cursed at by a bunch of losers. How was your day?'

Behind closed doors at the extremely complicated job of determining long weekend gas prices.

"Oh, definitely, I feel there's a reason I was given a second chance."