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CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

A Puppet Named Juan

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

String Theory for Beginners.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Dog fetches dice

Party Schools...

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

Benjamin Franklin

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

Old McDonald, first grader, fails English.

Community College. History's a lot more fun if you think of it as gossip.

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

Keep students on their toes...

Teacher with wing-mirror on blackboard.

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"