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CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

A Puppet Named Juan

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

String Theory for Beginners.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Dog fetches dice

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

Dog Anatomy from Memory.

Benjamin Franklin

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

Old McDonald, first grader, fails English.

'It's not a designer pin. It's actually a medal the Principal gave me for backing up my hard drive.'

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

Teacher with wing-mirror on blackboard.

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do no add up to 100 may help explain why.'