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"This next song is for my ex-wife Joan."

Glastonbury. After.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Tong!"

"Free Bird!"

Occupational Hazards.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

Towny Music Night.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"When it comes to good, old-fashioned roots music, this guy is the BEST!"

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

Musician plugged into amp.

"I miss diving into a mosh pit."

"Here's another one about Teddy bears."

"This next song is called - 'I want to kill you'."

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

"They're texting it in."

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"Thank you, Sir."

The Ignored Busker

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.