Lover Of Laughter Pillows

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Clown with big shoes can't see the television screen.

"Okay, so I faked it...you happy now?"

Woman's Bike Breaks.

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

'Hey you guys! Stop goofing off and start clowning about.'

'My love life sucks!...and that's the good news...'

'Are you from a small town?'

'Now this is my kind of fortune cookie!'

"You have to have a sense of humour to work here."

Magician at the Airport

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

King and Jester

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

'Right, now learn this trick...'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

"Returns"

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'