Lover Of Laugh Lines Pillows

"To be honest, a couple of years ago I picked an age and have stuck to it ever since."

Snowprov

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

"Returns"

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"You're not in the gym Gary!"

"I love you the way the French love Jerry Lewis."

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'