Lover Of Humorous Insights Mugs

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

'Here's a composite of our target consumer.'

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

"Several groups have claimed responsibility."

'What are you implying?'

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'I think you'd enjoy it even more if you understood Newton's Laws of Motion.'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'Pavlov's first experiment'

Home Business - Wife.

Golfer in a tree.

"It's a book about how to ask for a raise, '50 shades of Pay'."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

'He was run over by our home. We live in a mobile home park.'

'You look lovely today.'

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

Dentist preparing woodwork drill for dentistry.

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

"I don't know about turning, but I was tossing all night."

"It's nice, but I fell in love with a caterpillar."

"All day, every day—'There's a goddam fly in here!' It's so hurtful."

"You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Unfortunately, it's a grizzly bear!"

"The procedure took twelve and a half hours, during which time our team of doctors was able to put Mr. Dumpty together again."