Lover Of Clever Humor Mugs

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

'We dicovered that this cures hypochondria without administering it.'

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Fetch the Boomerang

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

"Sir? - it's clowntime."

Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling

"…And what do you think the cracker might represent?"

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

"You're not in the gym Gary!"

"I'm suffering from TeaParytyitis."

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

"Excuse me, officer, but I believe I'm entitled to one mating call..."

Florist delivers Cactus to Man on Bed of Nails

'You had me at hell.'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

Sex Score

"Let's go in here. Word has it that his cave drawings are nothing but nudes."

Mitch Decides to Take A 15 Minute Coffee Break To Voice His Opinion.

'You could have just TOLD me we were out of cups!'

'I think you'd enjoy it even more if you understood Newton's Laws of Motion.'

'Pavlov's first experiment'

Home Business - Wife.

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have a bit of trouble with those in the back yard.'

'This building inspector is so darn obstinate and bullheaded.'

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

"Mommm! I know you said ''no,' but it wasn't your usual firm 'no' that I admire and respect so much!"