Lover Of Homonyms T-Shirts

"No, I said we were going bear hunting...not hunting bare!"

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

My Spam Sketchbook

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"Agreed. They were undoubtedly sack religious."

'This may be the first day of the rest of my life, but I've decided to wait for the second day.'

Backdoor

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

"I was listening at the door and I overheard the nickname they have for me."

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

Wilhelm Dilthey

"Well, I don't consider it a tattoo. I consider it a monogram."

Reflection greeting cards.

Onandonodon

'They call me 'ka-ching'...I'm the go-to cash player.'

"So far we've narrowed the choice of names down to either Fearnaught or HMS Arsekicker."

And it goes without saying that...

'Remember, son...forewarned is four-armed.'

"We realize it is an unnecessary department, but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down."

"Have it say, 'Help Wanted'."

"Our Instacart shopper says they're out and to order earlier if we want worms."

'A moiety of twa is still ae.'

"May I write a poem about you?"

"Sorry, Tom, but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

'They call me... Condor!'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about the rhinoceros in the room?"

The Stranger

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

"How are we going to explain this?"

Celebrity anagram: I'm a merry bachelor (Answer: Michael Barrymore)

Defeat