Lover Of Culinary Surprises T-Shirts

'My fortune says, 'You will soon enjoy genetically modified rice'.'

While You Were Out: We Moved!

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

Cheese Secret

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'Try slicing the bread, Brian!'

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

Chernobyl Chow

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

'Killing two birds with one stone...bacon coffee.'

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'Food critics cannot determine what are crime scenes.'

Instant Slimmer Soup.

"It's General Gau's Strange Flavored Chicken prepared by Mrs. Howel's odd looking husband."

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

'Here's your 'Chef's Surprise,' sir -- I'm legally required to tell you that you have one last chance to change your mind.'

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

"The strawberry surprise may have been predictable but the real surprise comes with the bill."

'I don't eat red meat.' 'This is green.'

The Modern Daredevil.

'Popular Travel Channel star and host of Bizarre Foods, Andrew Zimmern, has announced that for the final episode, this year, he will eat himself.'

"Ye, just like I thought. Mennonites."

"And I'm actually the one who puts the giblets back into the chickens..."

Chef's first kiss

'I'm glad out parents aren't hung up about not spoiling us.'

Fish steals a fisherman's worms.

I'm not sure if it's dangerous to humans - all we've found out is that the mice won't eat it.

"Enjoy!"