Love Story Aficionado T-Shirts

"Thanks for a nice night."

'I thought I told you never to call me here!'

A man cries over the arrow through his heart.

Romeo and Juliet

"Meet The Author"

'Where was the TSA?'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

Mantis Love

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Jacques et Jille

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

'We met through a radiocarbon dating service.'

"Are we really gonna do this?!"

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

"And Jasper, dear Jasper, with his soulful eyes and great sagging jowl, would be stretched upon the floor, his tail a-thump when he heard his master's footsteps." Penny loved Daphne Du Maurier's 'Rebecca'.

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"