Love Song Performer Gifts

Love Birds love singing to each other

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"Oh, yes - BEAUTIFUL singer he was - but could he snap his fingers. . ?"

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

Love birds playing a guitar.

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"Yes, 'the lion sleeps tonight', I know the tune, but it means it's had a good feed during the day, which is not really a good thing..."

"Ok, I get it, you're happy and you know it. Now quit clapping."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

"This is it, everybody. Jack and Harriet Schroeder sing Harold Arlem."

A man playing guitar beneath a balcony with his hat ready for cash

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

"Must you sing, 'I'm in the mood for love' everytime you want sex?"

'Well, one of us in wrong.'

Prince, another that knocks Heaven's Doors

Will Self does karaoke

"I like a Gershwin tune. How about you?"

Old MacDonald had a startup.

"It's my pet mouse, Elvis. He was caught in a trap."

Sinead O'Connor.

"Don't worry, it's just a phrase she's going through."

"Okay, the mice can be blind, but if we introduce a carving knife, we'll have to use it in the third stanza."

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

'I don't wan't to talk - let's sing a duet!'

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

Elton John