Love Narrator T-Shirts

"He loves her, but he's not in love with her."

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

"You're on a low sodium diet so watch the salty talk."

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

"Swing me with your words."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Figure it out, Sherlock! I'm a lovebird. You're a lovebird. We're cooped-up together in this cage 24 hours a day! Sooner or later it was bound to happen."

Mine Shaft of Love.

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

Man and bird

Homework Help and Homework Eaten Stands

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

"What do you mean 'This affair is going nowhere'? This isn't nowhere."

'Tell us about the time you met Charles Darwin, grandad.'

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

...In a Relationship

"I hope they read the fine print that the audiobook is to be voiced by Morgan Freeman."

Bumper Cars of Love.

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Your ecosystem is pretty well shot, have you considered giving up humans?"

God's Kitchen

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'