Love Life Luminary Gifts

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Romance

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Heart To Heart

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Embarrassing things that happen to you in the bedroom stay in the bedroom. . . and on facebook."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Romances

James Russell Lowell

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Where do you to go?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

"We slipped in the tub."

Leonard Cohen.

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'