Love Life Luminary Gifts

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Romance

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Heart To Heart

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"Where do you to go?"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

Romances

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"I just feel like we're not connecting."

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

James Russell Lowell

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"We slipped in the tub."

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."