Love Life Jester Pillows

"I thought I'd contracted a sexually transmitted disease. It turned out my boyfriend activated the heated seat function on his pickup."

"No, being friends with benefits doesn't include health care."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"This will be hilarious!"

'He does.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

The prying mantis,

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

'Any questions?'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'