Love Life Enhancers Pillows

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

Ego Increasing School

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Make love not war

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

'It's all downhill from here.'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"You make me want to be a better bag."

Archers.

Sex shop

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

"I think you are exceeding the speed limit."

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

"I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner. She said yes and then she went to dinner."

'What's the definition of an ideal man? After he's made love for hours, he turns into a pizza.'

"Well of course there's a damp patch on the mattress - does it matter who sleeps on it?"

'Darling, I've brought mom round for tea! I hope it won't spoil my surprise!'

Luckily there are still men with charm and style.

"You're 30? Me too!"

Valentines

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

Less Summer More Love

'It's my wife's reminder to put the toilet seat down.'