Love-hate Tech User Gifts

Dating site algorithms never die, they just get re-formulated

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

The Selfie

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

The Smartass Phone

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

A Cyber-Nerd Romance.

'The smart phone is amazing you can contact anybody in the world.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"The official measure of an inch is three iPhones stacked on top of each other."

Research and Development: 'We've finally done it. An actual cell phone!'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

Pokemon Get Lost

"Oh, honey, you’ve got two croutons caught in your beard, and … is that an iPod Nano?!"

"How come they don't make clouds in high definition?"

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'