Love Forecaster Gifts

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

Sexual chemistry set

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

What will happen in the world

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

'You had me at 'C - R C = (2 x S X).'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.