Emotional Forecaster Gifts

Weather forecast - 'Today will be clouded with self-doubt followed this evening with a blanket of denial...'

Surfing the daily stress

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

The Map of the Human Heart

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

The Wishing Well

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

'He's never there for me.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

What will happen in the world

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

STRIP *Community Care * Office rage"