Emotional Forecaster Gifts

Weather forecast - 'Today will be clouded with self-doubt followed this evening with a blanket of denial...'

Surfing the daily stress

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

The Map of the Human Heart

"You need to stop bottling it up."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

The Wishing Well

I applied for a job with NASA but they turned me down. I think it was because I told them I wanted to be an astronaut because in space, you can't cry because there's no gravity and tears can't flow.

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

Pessimists v Optimists.

Budgetmageddon

'He's never there for me.'

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

What will happen in the world

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

The income gap is widening into a massive divide. Instability will follow. I'm not pleading for the middle class, I'm pleading for our future. House of Java .net Cybercafe. We can't have only rich and poor, for that was goes serfdom, instability, and eventually, collapse through inevitable revolution from below. Are you following what I'm saying? Are you listening? Not just listening. I'm listening while also playing Angry Birds. I've got no chance here, do I? Me either. The higher levels are br

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

Minority Report Is Real

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.