Love Connoisseur T-Shirts

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"I've thought really long and hard and what I'm trying to say is, while I love you, I only like a parade."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Love me little, love me long.'

"You're the woman of one of my dreams."

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

'The website made a mistake. Not 'erotic' - 'neurotic'.'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

'I know you like romantic things, so I built us this love-nest. Stuck together with my own spit.'

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

'HEY,no Tongue!'

Wildlife Refuge

Confession Ratings.

'This dinner had everything necessary to make it perfect...Great food, candlelight, violinist... you clutching your chest after seeing the check.'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

'Listen darling - they're playing our ring-tone!'

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

"Maybe we should go to my place after all!"

"Forgive me, Father ... I forgot to take my Beano."

"I'm convinced...we've both been married one too many times!"

"I was going to wake you up with oral sex this morning, but you looked like you could use the extra sleep."

These people are having more fun in 60 seconds that we'll have in a lifetime.

"It's an aggressive little wine with a smoky aftertaste and a hint of vanilla. Guaranteed to help you get your leg over!"

Coffee Date

I bragged about catching a fish a meter in lenght but it was the size of a sardine.

"No thanks-I'd sooner snog the steeple!"