Love Across Borders Gifts

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Collies Without Borders

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Did you miss me?

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

Crossing USA Mexico Border

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

Crossing Borders

Watching TV around the world

'I'm sorry, but I just can't handle you being out at sea for so long.'

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"We met in Purgatory, and I think we're going to try to make it work long distance."

"Look! Stem cells and Lipitor from Uncle Henri in Quebec."

I'm finally done celebrating the State of the Union address. What are you talking about? House of Java.net CyberCafe. Every year after the speech, I drive cross-country and date ladies from every region, and of every race, creed and color. It's my way of spending time with like-minded patriots to celebrate how we're all more similar than we are different. Whether you're in California, the deep south or far-off Hawaii, you're never more than a 2-hour drive from miniature golf. Think about that.

"Have you heard about the new Medicare Drug Plan called Plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!"

'My wife and I have single beds, mine in London and hers in Lincoln.'

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

Forbidden Travel to Cuba

Valentine's day may be a bit different this year

"Anything to declare, aside from personal bankruptcy?"

"I guess we've crossed into Germany by accident."

Priest: '...For richer or poorer,in sickness and in health...' Bride: 'Wait a minute! I need to consult my astrologer on this!'

A missing brick in a wall reveals a man with a ladder.

New EU pact on Migration and Asylum

"You forgot to tell him about the cigars and liquor under the seats, Dad."

Pirate buying hip hop.

"Says here the fentanyl that's killing all these folks from Mexico."

'Single model plane collector in search of intelligent attractive woman. Send a picture of your planes.'

Entering Big Bucks County

Border guard

'I go to Canada for my heart medicine and to Mexico for my pain killers and write off the trips for medical expenses.'

'Our genes suit fine, but astrologically Bob and I don't match at all.'