Cross-cultural Marriage Gifts

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

EU and India partnership.

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

"We never discuss religion."

Chinese kids are much smarter than we are! They just score well on tests. They're grinds. We're creative! We learn to express ourselves! West Fester High School. We'd better learn to express ourselves in Chinese!

'Our company is finally doing business with China.'

''How my year as an exchange student totally rocked thanks to my awesome pal Timmy Lowell' by Vladimir Brezskinov, translated from Russian by Timmy Lowell.'

Happy Everything

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

Fart. Le Poot.

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

'I just loved you Potatoes O' Squanto!'

"Oh shoot, we still need to get Hanukkah gifts for the Rosenbaums."

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"Gee, I just love the British dry sense of humor!"

"How vexing: He's exchanging eighty of us for one single bride!"

"You can do business anywhere... as long as you can speak their menu."

'I did it again. I said ano when I should have said año, so instead of asking how old her girl is, I asked how many assholes she has.'

War camouflage (bonsai tree).

A couple drives past a sign that reads "Caution Intermarriages Ahead".

Chère Maman

Advanced Russian - Beginning Finnish

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

Eskimo opera singer, "He's from Opera North"

"This is the Halal dog food. The Kosher dog food is in the next aisle."

"We adopted her in China, and we're having her raised there, too,"

"I've forgotten. Is it the television or the telepone you folks call the 'telly'?"