Cross-cultural Marriage Pillows

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

EU and India partnership.

"Did you speak to our client in Australia?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

Jewish man walks into a restaurant called 'Oy Sushi'.

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"I talked Vladi into skipping the transition to democracy in his country and just shooting straight over here with me."

"We never discuss religion."

Happy Everything

''How my year as an exchange student totally rocked thanks to my awesome pal Timmy Lowell' by Vladimir Brezskinov, translated from Russian by Timmy Lowell.'

'Our company is finally doing business with China.'

'Do you know that tattoo reads,'I love little porcelain dolls'?' (a Chinese man explaining to a tough guy what his Chinese tattoo really means).

Fart. Le Poot.

'I just loved you Potatoes O' Squanto!'

"My French is OK but you should really see my Reportese..."

"Oh shoot, we still need to get Hanukkah gifts for the Rosenbaums."

'Hah, he bowed lower than I did.'

"How vexing: He's exchanging eighty of us for one single bride!"

War camouflage (bonsai tree).

"You can do business anywhere... as long as you can speak their menu."

'I did it again. I said ano when I should have said año, so instead of asking how old her girl is, I asked how many assholes she has.'

A couple drives past a sign that reads "Caution Intermarriages Ahead".

Advanced Russian - Beginning Finnish

Eskimo opera singer, "He's from Opera North"

"How nice to be misunderstood in more than one language!"

"This is the Halal dog food. The Kosher dog food is in the next aisle."

"I've forgotten. Is it the television or the telepone you folks call the 'telly'?"

"Just leave the hat on and maybe my parents won't notice."