Louvre Lover T-Shirts

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Romance

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

A heart shaped cake

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Archimedes statue with a lever

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"This stool shall pass."

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"I heard they mate for life."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

New Shoes.

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Frog flirting.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

'He may have an opposable thumb, but she has him wrapped around her little finger.'