Lost Luggage Veteran Gifts

Computer at airline terminal is used to Google Up Your Luggage.

Seagulls landing

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"How's my tripping you up?"

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"I installed a cam in my luggage to see if it's having a better vacation than I am."

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'Next time I insist on flying first class!'

"You overpacked again."

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

Airline concerns.

"We're thinking... this year just send us to whatever country our luggage is accidentally sent to!"

Baggage Claim

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

All gates.

'Don't you think it's time we bought new suitcases?'

"Just barking will do."

'Pack this yourself, Miss?' (Nelly the elephant at customs).

"I would have left a long time ago, but I could never find luggage I really liked."