Lost Luggage Veteran Gifts

Seagulls landing

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"How's my tripping you up?"

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"I installed a cam in my luggage to see if it's having a better vacation than I am."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'Next time I insist on flying first class!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

"You overpacked again."

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

Airline concerns.

"We're thinking... this year just send us to whatever country our luggage is accidentally sent to!"

Baggage Claim

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

'Don't you think it's time we bought new suitcases?'

"I would have left a long time ago, but I could never find luggage I really liked."

'Pack this yourself, Miss?' (Nelly the elephant at customs).

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'