Lost Luggage Survivor Gifts

Airline concerns.

'No, I haven't been to all those places, but my luggage has.'

"We're thinking... this year just send us to whatever country our luggage is accidentally sent to!"

"Can I get a ticket to wherever my bags will be going?"

"They cancelled our flight and lost our luggage! Who knows where it is?"

'Do any of these look like your bag!'

'And the purpose of your visit?' - 'To find my luggage.'

Lost Luggage/Lost Passengers

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

Airport

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"I installed a cam in my luggage to see if it's having a better vacation than I am."

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

"So this is where it all ends up. . ."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

Baggage Claim

Seagulls landing

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

'Don't you think it's time we bought new suitcases?'

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

Traveller with a globe on the front of his car.

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"