Loss Of A Relative Pillows

"Did you once admire your Aunt's kitchen towels?"

'He must not have been an easy man to care for. He always had an iron will. Which brings us to what he left you.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Children's Party

'He was a great writer'

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

Stockwell's day

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

Postcards from Heaven...

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

'Grief counselling'

"So, Gilbert was your friend who fought in Vietnam?"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"Sorry, wrong room."

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."

"What? Too soon?"