Losing A Game Pillows

"Even though the other team scored more point, I'm going to throw a crying fit."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Looks like another profit's warning

"I know. I miss him, too."

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Broken Heart

"It's her first bench-clearing brawl."

"He had a full two weeks."

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

Pickles the Clown: Son of Bonzo and Gwen. A Pro to the End.

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

A grave with an array of beauty products

Otters are Playful Creatures.

"You've suffered a loss and you need time to grieve, also, tomorrow the market may turn around."

"He was the finest bluesman I knew..."

"Your husband died from medical malpractice, but it may comfort you to know that brain surgery is always risky...even when the doctor doesn't have a hangover."

Need to celebrate? we will pour ice water on you, only $27.50!

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

'For me, this gives a new meaning to the phrase 'voter turnout'.'

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."

"Your mother says to quit bringing laundry over. She's dead."

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

'They say it was a truly enlightened electorate this year, Congressman.'

Greeting cards: Get Well, Sympathy, Pity.

'We're sorry for your loss. but it must be a consolation to know that his death didn't effect our targets.'

Dead Workaholic

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

The night

"I feel like we're drifting apart."