Lore Aficionado T-Shirts

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Zombie standup

"What's a patent?"

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Cat box"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

Easter Island legs

Love at First Sight

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Edgar Allen Poe

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The Fourth Little Pig

"Of all the buildings I've designed, it's probably the most handsome."

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"All natural snow cones for sale."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"That's not how I sat on you."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"They're so adorable at that age!"

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