Loom Master T-Shirts

"Are. You. Ready. To. Weeeeave?"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"You said it—everybody heard you."

Loom Bands Craze: 'It's supposed to be a bracelet, Mum.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Skiing Accidents.

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

Snow machine spitting out kids toys left under the snow.

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

'Well, when can I have my bike back?'

The first sign of spring is landscapers driving by and laughing at my unkempt lawn.

'I'm making pot pie.'

Woman Weaves a Poem

"A wet winter. but we're making the best of it."

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

Inside the freezer. I can't wait to get warmed up in the microwave! Bean and Cheese. Ice. He's a "Brrr-ito"! Ice Cream Vanilla.

Man cutting grass.

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."

'Son, now that you're 16, I thought I'd let you drive.'

'She's always got to go one better.' (Two catty ladies knitting, talking about the other lady at a loom).

'This has GOT to be good... it's MICROWAVABLE.'

"I hope you know that by sending me to bed I'm out of the zone now! What's Spanish for big, fat loophole?"

"I'd have cooked it for you but you can't put metal in the microwave."